9 Months Say Whaaat?

   Due to being so caught up in summer lately, I really haven't had the chance to post too much. But i'm always thinking of words in my head to say for the next time I do! I've been running around a lot lately with a lot of chaos in my life but I'm enjoying it completely. Kyle finally got a new car that he worked to buy all by himself. The 2002 Subaru Forester was running awesome until he and I were driving it on Sunrise Highway and started to see smoke coming from the back. OF COUUURSE this would happen like a week after getting it. The car passed inspection so I really didn't understand what could've been wrong. His dad came to our rescue and checked it out, I also got to take a back seat ride in his Ford Bronco which was totally sick.
   In other awesome news, today's 9 months Kyle and I have been together! It's been quite the ride, doing all of the crazy things we've done. I remember when we first started getting to know each other this past October, I had already been in past relationships and spent just about all of high school being with a guy. So meeting Kyle didn't scare me at all. I thought I had it all down and I had nothing to be nervous about because I knew what I was doing. But once we started to hangout, I felt butterflies in my stomach just about every second. My mind was racing and I had the constant thought to "play it cool", whatever that means. For the first time I was actually anxious about a guy, and it didn't make any sense to me. The first time we hung out he put his hand on my lap and my head started spinning as I said to myself in my thoughts "he wouldn't be doing this if he didn't like me!!!". That same night we walked around and talked about so many things. Looking back, I feel like I wasn't able to keep my mouth shut. I can't remember whether I was that nervous or if I was just so excited to tell him about my life. Probably a little bit of both. We sat at a playground and both looked up at the sky, and when we started to talk about the stars I knew right in that moment that this person was about to change my life. And he did.
   To me, love is all about understanding. It's about listening to opposite opinions even when you don't agree and not only loving that person for who they are, but accepting them for what they aren't. It's definitely not always sunshine and rainbows being in a relationship, especially if you're in love with them. That doesn't seem to make much sense, but when you're with someone who you whole-heartedly love and the odds are sometimes against you, things can get difficult pretty easily. Sometimes I tell myself that Kyle doesn't actually love me as much as he claims to and I start to feel really down on myself. I think about how easy it might be for him to find someone else who can fit him better than I can. All of these feelings are perfectly normal. It's hard to not feel like you're in a competition when you have an opponent count of 7,125 billion. Even with all of the reassurance in the world it can be tough to shake those thoughts. Sometimes love is really, really hard. Once in a while it's hard to listen to those opinions you don't quite agree with, or understand that when it comes down to it, you can't change a person. But I guess when you're willing to hold onto that person for forever, it's always worth it.
   Kyle is totally different from any other guy I've ever met. He completely changed the game. If there's ever another girl walking past him, he always looks back to me, as if he wouldn't want to put his eyes on anyone else. I'm a firm believer in the saying "money can't buy happiness", but I must admit the bouquets of flowers I get sometimes are awesome. I could definitely learn to live normally without Kyle, but why would I ever want to do that? He's taught me more about love than anyone ever has, and if that's not something worth keeping around then I have no idea what is. I got very, very lucky when it comes to my relationship. Just the other day Kyle said how he went into this year not wanting a girlfriend. We talk about the beginning of our relationship and our "talking stage" all of the time, and we always laugh and smile about how fresh and nerve racking everything was. I remember after only a few times of hanging out I could barely take how attractive I thought he was. Something just kept pulling me closer and closer to him. He's definitely one of the best decisions I've ever made.
   Dating Kyle has made me realize that there honestly is someone for everyone. Even with my baggage, my emotional side, and my every-so-often whining fits, he loves me unconditionally. But it feels pretty easy to do when that person is that important to you. Being able to share experiences like watching the sunset, yawning before the sunrise, jumping in the ocean even when it's too cold, and taking drives with the windows down and music blasting are things I could never enjoy as much with anyone else. I'm always so beyond grateful for my Kyle. There's no doubt in my mind that it'll always be him. I love him, I love him, I love him.